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第7章 初战始一

　　He stepped into the parlour and stood for a few moments lookingvacantly at the floor. The silence grew oppressive. The littleflat seemed wonderfully deserted. He wholly forgot that he washungry, that it was only dinner-time. It seemed later in thenight.

　　To say truly, this would have been Carrie's attitude in any case.She had looked back at times upon her parting from Drouet and hadregretted that she had served him so badly. She hoped she wouldnever meet him again, but she was ashamed of her conduct. Notthat she had any choice in the final separation. She had gonewillingly to seek him, with sympathy in her heart, when Hurstwoodhad reported him ill. There was something cruel somewhere, andnot being able to track it mentally to its logical lair, sheconcluded with feeling that he would never understand whatHurstwood had done and would see hard-hearted decision in herdeed; hence her shame. Not that she cared for him. She did notwant to make any one who had been good to her feel badly.

　　"I wouldn't ask if I--I wouldn't argue with you if I could helpit. Look at me, Carrie. Put yourself in my place. You don'twant to stay away from me, do you?"

　　The motley company had increased to ten. One or two knew eachother and conversed. Others stood off a few feet, not wishing tobe in the crowd and yet not counted out. They were peevish,crusty, silent, eying nothing in particular and moving theirfeet.

　　He thought upon it for a half-hour, not contemplating a messengeror a cab direct to the house, owing to the exposure of it, butfinding that time was slipping away to no purpose, he wrote theletter and then began to think again.

　　"Oh, that's all right," answered the little girl, good-naturedly,glad to be of service.It had been days since Hurstwood had done more than go to thegrocery or to the news-stand. Now the weariness of indoors wasupon him--had been for two days--but chill, grey weather had heldhim back. Friday broke fair and warm. It was one of thoselovely harbingers of spring, given as a sign in dreary winterthat earth is not forsaken of warmth and beauty. The blueheaven, holding its one golden orb, poured down a crystal wash ofwarm light. It was plain, from the voice of the sparrows, thatall was halcyon outside. Carrie raised the front windows, andfelt the south wind blowing.

　　"I hadn't thought of it," returned Carrie.

　　"She can afford to dress well," thought Carrie, "and so could I,if I could only keep my money. I haven't a decent tie of anykind to wear."

　　"Only a few days."